Overview
Patterns are negative behaviours, beliefs, thoughts, moods and actions that we repeat in our lives. We took on our patterns in childhood, up to age 12 or 13, in order to get attention from our parents and to survive.
A pattern is any human behaviour, thought or feeling that takes you away from your authentic self. Typical examples are judging, criticising, comparing, anxiety, self-consciousness, feeling ‘less than’ or ‘better than’…
Patterns are part of the human condition and we all have hundreds of them. They are negative, compulsive, automatic, emotionally-charged and learned.
Pattern tracing as a tool
- When you react to a situation, pause and ask yourself ‘What pattern am I in?’
- Then trace it back. Who did I learn it from ? Mother, Father? Or a surrogate ?
- Remember that patterns are learned in 3 ways: adopt them when we do the same as the parent; rebel against them, when we do the opposite; or react to them by adapting in some way.
- You can get more information by using Pattern tracing sheets. You can download a Past to present pattern tracing sheet here and the Present to past pattern sheet here to help.
- The Transference worksheet is a great way of tracking the patterns you go into when you have a reaction to someone.
- Once you’ve traced a pattern, you can use a tool of expression: journalling, some stamping on the pattern or even dancing can disconnect you from the need for the pattern and release the frustration relating to it.
- See Expression on Patterns
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