The Hoffman Process was on my radar for many years; in fact it was 22 years ago that a close friend of mine did the Process. Following that, I noticed a huge change in him. He was a beautiful man but, let’s say, could get very angry from time to time. Post Hoffman, I witnessed a peace and serenity in him that I’d never seen before. He is still a very dear friend of mine. I then went on to see, over time, the likes of Goldie and other household names talk about Hoffman. I was intrigued.
In 2018 my father passed away. We’d had a difficult relationship, and for the last 20 years of his life I was his primary carer. When he died, it cracked open a big vortex in me which I didn’t deal with very well. I used alcohol and other substances to ease some of the discomfort I was experiencing. I have now come to realise I was trying to suppress and self-manage my emotions.
The Hoffman team recommend that you should take time out to grieve before attending if you have recently lost a parent. It was a year to the day that Dad died that I made the call to begin my application to join the course.
I gained everything from doing the Process. Insight into myself, insight into who I am as a human, insight into other people. We all just want to be seen, heard and loved. Clarity, acknowledgement of who I am. I have integrity, passion and great care for myself and others. I gained huge insight into my parents – it wasn’t their fault. I thought I was going into the course to clean my wounds and trauma that I had associated with my father, but I realised I also held some resentments against my mum. Obviously as a child you don’t understand what’s going on during tumultuous times and environments, so I blamed myself. I now understand that my mum was going through it too and doing the best she could do.
There are so many things throughout the Process that are so special and magical, I almost can’t put it into words. They are also challenging, uncomfortable and have the ability to quite literally crack you wide open. I changed and I’ve even changed my name since. I went into the process as Nicole and I came out Coco. Coco is warm, loving and open, peaceful and sees the world a lot brighter. Upon completing Hoffman, everything was brighter, the sky, the clouds, the green leaves, my relationships were better, my friendships were more enriched, my outlook was totally different.
I had a lot of pent-up anger that was stored up in my body. The Hoffman Process uses a lot of techniques combined in a unique way that really worked to help me release that. I am trained as a yoga and meditation teacher, so I have certain tools that I’ve used over the years, but the course really made me understand how to use these things as daily practices; gratitude, getting enough sleep. Not having technology for a week, what a gift! Time spent in silence, again, what a gift!
The Process changed my life as I was open to more things, more opportunities. I was open to the understanding that the only person that can help me, is me. There is no white knight in shining armour that’s going to come swooping in and rescue me. I also know that if I don’t love myself, I am limited in loving someone else. It gave me the greatest gift in realising who I am. The friendships I made on the Process are still some of the closest friendships I have, even now, four years later.
My life was bumpy afterwards. The first year was great, the second year was very challenging and in hindsight, I realise that I wasn’t using the Hoffman tools. They give you the tools, but if you don’t use them – guess what? – the same old stuff starts repeating again.
So even though I went through a bumpy patch two years later, I came out of that even stronger and realised my own strengths. It was like I was an onion, I was unravelling and peeling back the layers of myself and the Hoffman Process was the start of that. It’s still ongoing and probably will be until the day I die, but it’s a beautiful thing. I learn lessons every day and I am open to them – but it all started with the Process.
I was due to start the Process in June 2019, however I suffered an accident at an annual event I put on. This left me incapacitated and in a bad way. I delayed my start, much to my disappointment and frustration. However, when I arrived for my week in Seaford there were whispers of ‘The Hoff’ being on the course for the first time in five years! I was later to understand that this was not David Hasselhoff, but the incredible Tim Laurence, the founder who brought the Process over from the States to the UK. Every cloud as they say… and the rest is history!
We’re delighted to be able to share Coco’s ‘Big Chat‘ interview with Hoffman UK founder Tim Laurence, first broadcast in April 2023. Click here for a list of download/streaming options, or on the video link below to watch on YouTube. For more episodes of the ‘Big Chat’ click here, or keep an eye on Instagram for updates here.
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