Excerpt from an article in the Irish Independent
“Hoffman works… The first thing I noticed was euphoria, intense euphoria. As if a permanent grey cloud had been lifted, I started waking up feeling enthusiastic about life in a totally new way. The second thing I noticed was that I wasn’t obsessing about what other people thought of my hair, my clothes, my make-up, my weight; about what other people thought of me generally. As I walked around, I started noticing things about the world that I had been too busy to notice when I was worrying only about me. Very soon after the course, I had dinner with my father. We hadn’t seen each other for a year, he hadn’t wanted to speak to me after I had written an article about him in this newspaper which embarrassed him. At the time I thought, sod you, mate, you deserve to be embarrassed, after not wanting me for all that time. I had made a public show of forgiving him, in the magnanimous way that only the self-righteous have. And I had never seriously considered his feelings or what kind of a life he must have had.
This time, things were entirely different. For the first time ever, I stopped worrying about what he was giving me or not giving me and I just saw him as a person. And I liked him. I felt genuine love, when I looked at him, even though I didn’t have the guts to say it. This was a person who had found himself with a child that he hadn’t asked for and he had done his best. His abandonment of me had absolutely nothing to do with me, with what I looked like, or what kind of a person I was. He simply hadn’t felt able to be a father to me, and I could finally accept that.
Since I did the Hoffman, a lot of things have changed. The most remarkable thing is that I now accept responsibility for my own happiness. The process has given me tools that I go on using, if I feel myself slipping into depression or self-pity. I love my friends and family more than I ever did before and I appreciate them more. I talk to my guardian angels and listen to them, more than I let myself be ruled by my intellect or my emotions, and I look after my body in the manner that it deserves. Most important, when I lie on the beach I can take a real holiday. A holiday from negativity. And I am left with a desire to be the best and happiest person I can be…”
For more of Victoria’s work go to www.victoriamaryclarke.com
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