Essentials Resources

Even though we are not together physically, we want to make sure you have a safe and intimate space for you to do your work.

For your upcoming virtual course, please find a private, quiet place at home or at work where you will be uninterrupted, and where you can sit comfortably in front of your screen and have room to stretch.

Please let those you share a house with know that you require space for this virtual retreat and give them time to make arrangements if necessary too.

Take some time to set up your space to have the atmosphere of a retreat for yourself.

Your location should be well lit, as we want to be able to see you and connect with you!

Some suggestions are:

• Declutter, clean and tidy the room you will be in for the duration of the workshop.
• Clear laundry and debris, and any distracting background as much as possible.
• Look around your space for what may be in the room that will distract you or others and put away in another room or cupboard.
• Have some flowers or a potted plant set somewhere in your room

You might even consider keeping this newly-purposed space available once the workshop has ended.

Healthy, delicious food and good rest are important.

They are an integral part of boosting your immune system as well as keeping you present and grounded.

As a guide to timings, each day of The Hoffman Essentials runs from 9.15am to 5.00pm with a lunch break from 12.45pm to 2.15pm.

• Just as at an in-person Hoffman course, your need for rest and nourishing food is important.
• Shop ahead and make some meals you can easily reheat during your break times.
• If you have access to food delivery, you may want to order meals for yourself.
• If someone you live with can cook for you, let them know your meal-times and allow them to support you in that way.
• Stay away from alcoholic drinks, even in the evenings. Instead, have good herbal teas or other healthy beverages.
• Get a good amount of sleep during the weekend, if possible. Treat the Saturday evening and night as an extension of your virtual course days and allow for good, restful sleep.
• Consider having art supplies to hand, so you can do some creative drawing or expression during your downtime over the weekend.

Use a computer or laptop for this course if at all possible; a tablet is the next best thing.

• Make sure any device you are using has a camera.
• Please be sure to install the latest version of Zoom on your device.
• It’s best to be hard-wired with your internet connection. If that’s not possible, be sure you have a strong wi-fi connection.
• Close down all other applications on your computer, so you are not distracted, and (ideally) clear or sort your desktop.
• If you can, use a headset or ear buds with microphone capabilities (similar to those you might use with a mobile phone or gaming device). If you live with other people, using headphones can ensure that other people’s voices are not picked up by your computer’s microphone.
• Having a comfortable place to sit is important. Use a sturdy, comfortable chair or sofa within reach of the computer.
• We will provide a student workbook, but you may want to have a journal or extra paper/note pad to hand. Be sure to have a couple of pens available, too.
• Please ensure your non-essential devices are turned off or muted. We want your attention to be on you, not email or social media.

We recognise it can be challenging to stay focused when working in a virtual environment.

To support you, we ask you to:

• Turn off notifications and alerts on the device you are using for the course.
• Keep your focus on the workshop as if you were on site, and don’t attend to other things during the day, even while on breaks. Put aside your responsibilities and dive into yourself. This is your time!
• Use screen etiquette, i.e. no multi-tasking – don’t try to catch up on emails or other work.
• Don’t eat meals on screen (snacks are welcome), and refrain from outside conversations, etc.
• Moving between sitting and standing can really help. If you want to stand, please make sure you have a place to put your computer so you can still be seen. You are welcome to stretch or move around as needed while still paying attention to the session.
• Use the break times to take care of your needs, and get beverages and snacks so you can be fully present to the teaching and experiences.
• You can have the workshop on gallery view so you can scan through the other faces regularly. This serves to remind you that although we are doing this work virtually, there is a community of living, breathing humans participating in the workshop with you!

Negative Love: An introduction

Our early upbringing has a profound effect on our lives. Bob Hoffman recognised that as children we unconsciously adopt the negative behaviours, belief systems, moods, attitudes and insecurities of our caregivers in order to be loved. These patterns of behaviour pass from generation to generation, and it is only when we identify and deal with them that the cycle can be broken. Bob called this ‘Negative Love Syndrome’, and you can watch an introduction to negative love in a short video from our colleagues at Hoffman USA below.

The Hoffman method teaches us how to release and resolve persistent negative behavioural patterns of feeling unloved and unlovable. We examine the major influences on our lives, trace the root of the adopted negativity, and release any pain, grief, anger, shame or resentment that has been stored there.

This absolutely doesn’t mean blaming our parents for everything that’s wrong in our lives. The ultimate aim is to help everyone reach forgiveness and acceptance for themselves and others, allowing for a more compassionate approach to personal relationships and family life.

We use the word patterns to refer to those deeply ingrained, often unconscious, negative behaviours, beliefs, moods, thoughts, and actions that many of us compulsively repeat throughout their lives.

You can download an excerpt from the Hoffman book below in which Hoffman UK founder Tim Laurence gives an introduction to patterns.

An Introduction to patterns

It might also be interesting to have a look at a list of some common patterns -do any resonate with you?

Examples of patterns